Update, Plus: A New Family Member

Well, tonight my family got a little bit bigger. I have a small one, just Joon and myself, but tonight I added to it. And no, dear reader, that is not an indication I had a kid with Joon. Ugh, I inherited him from my Sire, that would be like sleeping with an uncle or something... the gay uncle, at that. No, tonight I began the process of ghouling a young man whose name I will keep to myself for now. He is in a precarious position, still in the process of being ghouled, so I will keep his privacy.

The new ghoul is only two doses of Vitae into things, but he is already mostly submissive to my will or at least thinking of me, which is a good sign. He is a student at the local university here in Salem and caught my attention when I was on a recent trip to the school. I promised him that I would sponsor his education and he, in turn, made me interested in something I haven't been interested in for a long time, his hobby of photography. I've never been one for the photograph, I love the medium of clay and ceramic much more, but in this case, his pictures were engrossing. I just had to have this photographer.

The poor kid had an addiction to a pill he took for legitimate reasons, one that I believe we are working him free of with the heavy high a dose of Vitae will give you, and he eagerly traded it for a better trip. I'll keep him handy, you never know when you'll need an extra set of hands.

In other news, and I'm not sure who reads this so I'll be circumspect, something happened at the club that I haven't talked about. I've been so angry that I haven't posted anything here about it. I'm still furious, and in such a rage I'm surprised I haven't frenzied. I was attacked. I was in the middle of a session with a Japanese rope bondage master named Nobu when someone struck Master Nobu from behind, and then threatened me. The bastard took my collar in his hands, had the GALL to touch my collar, and tore it off, crumpling the metal with strength only someone not mortal could have. I was left relatively unharmed but the intrusion at the club, coupled with the intrusion at my apartment/shop - did I mention that? No? Someone snuck in and slipped something into my kiln, destroying a piece of art I had been working on. I am enraged, to say the least. - has sent me down a path I never thought I would take.

My new ghoul had been at the club at the time and snapped a photo of the suspect leaving the club by the back exit. I didn't get a good look at the face but it looks like Mark, or at least similar to Mark, but something's off. Something's different. I can't put my finger on what, exactly.... but I know one thing. If it was Mark, those are actions that I could never respect, actions of a person that I could never call Master, ever. The attack on my person, the infiltration of Mordecai's club, the threats...

If this person hadn't removed my collar, I'd take it off right now.

Mark, we are done.

Not Dead!

We aren't dead! Oh, thank goodness, we didn't get killed. I guess since the Prince and the rest of the Council know, I'm free to write about what happened in Ohio, but I want to gloss over the specifics still.

We went to Ohio to rescue Mordecai's family from their abusive father. Funny how such things seem to happen in ultra-religious communities.... I guess this is why I am an atheist-leaning agnostic. Religion just seems to complicate things.

Here's how shit went down: We got in the orange monstrosity of an RV the night before our trip and slept the day away while Michael, Mordecai's ghoul and business manager-type person, drove us to Ohio. We woke up about the time that we arrived at a staging point - a local WalMart - and stocked up on just-in-case supplies. I had my box with me as well, for just in case-ness.

Going out into the world, we arrived at the Amish community and found a light on in the barn, one Mordecai assured me was not normal. What we found inside caused the first breach of the Traditions that night... His sister Mary had hung herself, but was still warm. Mordecai Embraced her to save her life, potentially condemning us all to death. It was worth it though, in his mind, because as I heard him tell the youngest kid, "Family comes first."

So with Mary Embraced and Hannah getting the kids out of the house - they had to duct tape the youngest one's mouth shut because he kept trying to call out for the father - we went looking for the father. John Miller was obstinate and kept trying to keep a shotgun on Mordecai. He hadn't seen me, so I kept the pistol I grabbed from my box at the ready, and aimed at John while they talked.

I could see Mordecai working on spending blood. His cheeks flushed with health and he seemed to brace himself before jumping at John. Then came the second and far larger of our breaking of our Traditions, the shattering of the Masquerade, when Mordecai Embraced John, leaving him just enough blood to wake him up but not enough to quench any thirst for any time.

We left before he was able to wake up.

Our trip back to Salem was uneventful, and I dreamt about frogs. I spent some time sketching out my newest sculpture project. It looks like I'll have to get some more green glaze... I'm running out.

The next evening we got notified by the Keeper of Elysium, Jim Wagner, that the Prince 'requested' Mordecai's presence that evening, along with the "brood" he brought back with him from Ohio. I was certain we all were dead, but Mordecai was trying his best to keep me out of things, as I was just there and didn't really do anything. I was worried for his safety, of course, but as long as I was still alive I was able to do that.

The Prince was actually pretty reasonable. His verdict was that the family was to be split up, essentially held as hostages to Mordecai's good behavior, and made into ghouls for the time being. The primogen council and the Prince got to care for the Miller family. Lady Alicia, Lloyd, and Prince Eric himself each took one (or more) of the family. Our lives were spared - I don't think they really knew that I was there, but I was willing to stand with my.... friend? ally? comrade? I don't know what the right word would be. Comrade will work for now, but we're getting close to friend.

I was able to give Lady Alicia her gift last night as well. The miniature phoenix I crafted for her went over well, she cooed over it like any proper Toreador would of such fine workmanship. It was my best work and I could have sold that for $300 to a collector of my work, but a gift for my clan Primogen is worth the best effort I can give.

Ceramic Phoenix for Lady Alicia

Well, that was the end of that evening. Oh, I did receive a gift from Mordecai.... I hesitate to mention it on here lest someone get an idea about our relationship but this is supposed to be a full and truthful accounting of my evening. I received a bondage harness from Mordecai, with a built-in chastity belt. It is GORGEOUS. The leather is supple and I can't wait to feel it against my skin. It reveals enough to let a swipe of a whip or crop at my skin, but covers enough to create an excellent restraint system during a scene.

I can't wait to have the chance to wear it. I just don't know if I ever will... every night that ticks by makes me less and less certain that I will see my beloved Master again. Is he really just.... dead? Could a car crash with a tiny little bit of fire have killed him? We talked to a Nosferatu tonight and it turns out that the feelers Mordecai put out in the Nosferatu network are bearing fruit. Perhaps there will be news soon of his fate?

Friday is the Art Show at the university's gallery. I wonder what will be on show?

We're All Gonna Die!

...or at least, that's what I think will happen. My life is forfeit. The being's life I was with is forfeit. Everyone on this stinking orange piece of ugly... We're doomed!

I can't talk about what happened. While I didn't exactly say anything like "I swear" or "I promise," this isn't the kind of thing you just blab around if you're involved. Anyone can read this. So, most of my nightly journal is going to be about yesternight.

Yesternight! Ah, to break in a new spirit... I'll stop being dramatic now and just tell you what happened. I met Jacob and Hannah yesternight, they're friends of Mordecai's. Well, brother and then friend-slash-former crush type deal. As crush-y as the Amish ever get, I guess. It was so sweet how... innocent.... they both were.

Jacob had a little problem that I was able to help with, as an exchange of services with Mordecai. Since he is helping me find Master Mark, and putting word out with the Nosferatu network about him, I couldn't be in his debt. I used helping Jacob into manhood as a way to balance our scales. As of recent events, the scales are unbalanced again, but I don't mind this way.

How did I help Jacob? I fucked him, quite frankly. It was terrible, he was all fumbling Amish innocence and while I tried to get some satisfaction... well, he was untrained in the ways of pleasing a woman, especially with my unique needs. Fortunately, Mordecai has a Japanese knot master coming in soon, so I shall avail myself of their skill.

Oh, I just want to get back to my clay and ceramic.... Sculpting always makes me feel better. There's an art show coming up at the local campus that I want to go to anyways, and I want to get home in time for that. I can't wait to see if there's any new talent around... I've been so bored with the recent gallery shows in the area. Nothing is exciting or innovative. I can't wait to see what's on show.

Speaking of Master Mark.... I'm not sure what I feel about him anymore. There's the love, and loyalty, but the unwavering knowledge that he has my best interest in mind is kind of... missing. How could he be doing this to me, if he is still out there? The only witness to the 'accident' - and I refuse to call it a proper accident, I don't believe anything was accidental about that crash - was mysteriously reduced to a husk. Is he still existing? Why hasn't he contacted me? Our relationship, twenty years long, was built on trust. I trusted him to have my best interests at heart, and he trusted that I would obey him in exchange for that care and protection. I'm not getting those two things right now.

I can't believe what I just wrote.

I miss Master Mark.... Everything was easier when it was just the sound of his voice and the sting of the riding crop, the strain of the knots and cords against my skin.... Now I'm actually questioning my submission to him. But, if he's not here.... I don't have anyone.

.........................

I'll just say this, not knowing who is reading this and if he's still out there. I don't know how much longer I can wear the collar of someone who is not in my life anymore. I want him to take it off, but if it's much longer.... I know my way around a jewelry clasp too.

Alright, I have to put away the phone. Yes, I'm blogging on my phone. Don't ask me why I don't have my computer, I'm in another state right now. Wait, make that another another state, just crossed a border. I might take a nap just to get away from the orange monstrosity.....

A New Club

So, tonight I spent only an hour on my hair and clothes. It was a disgrace how I looked when I woke from the day's sleep. My hair was a mess, I had bags under my eyes.... disgraceful, I tell you! I picked out the black dress with the gauzy sleeves.... here, I'll add a picture of me in it for posterity.

Kind of fancy, but a girl's got to have class, right? So there I was, all dressed up and nowhere to go. Google showed me that there were a couple of clubs around Salem that I hadn't tried out, so I picked the one closest to the Salon and away I went. It took a little love to get the Tortoise going, but my old VW Beetle eventually got going. I'm going to have to do the spark plugs at some point over the next week, and probably the break pads need to be replaced. Note to self: Hit up Jerry's auto shop and pick up some new break pads tomorrow night.

I ended up at a club that at first seemed like a normal drinking club, high class and with plenty of men in suits and women in sleek dresses drinking around the room. I ordered my usual drink, a Sidecar, and dumped it in a plant when no-one was looking. I then spotted a Van Gogh reproduction that took my breath away. I've never been to Paris to see the original in the Musee d'Orsay, but even a reproduction of the Fritillaries in a Copper Vase is a sight to see. I was interrupted by a strange man named Mortdecai, and after a little bit of conversation I used Auspex to try and see what I could tell about him.

Mortdecai was Kindred, I'm guessing from a not-so-common clan in these parts. Independent, perhaps. He mentioned that he was joining the Camarilla and ditching his old clan, so he's the low man on the totem pole at the moment. He ran the club, which catered to the indulgences of anyone with money to pay. Mostly Kindred, I got the sense, but I'm guessing he might let mortals indulge themselves. I went upstairs with Mortdecai and I heard the familiar sounds of a whip on flesh.... It's been too long since I felt the sweet sting against my skin. I did not give in to the longing that filled me that night, but I can tell that it will only be time before I am a customer at his establishment. He mentioned he had someone trained in Japanese-style bondage coming in next week..... I think my shiver was very noticeable. 

I asked Mortdecai about Master Mark, and got a negative response. He did say that when the next Elysium was held, he would introduce me to some people who would possibly know better than he would. 

Still, it's been six months with nothing. His goods were deeded to my name. I love him, I will always love him, but.... if he isn't here, how can my needs be met? He swore that when I pledged myself to his social ownership, he would never let me go unfulfilled. Master Mark swore that he would take me to my limits and past them. He fulfilled that promise when he had me, but now he doesn't, and I am languishing...

I still want to know what happened to him. If it was just a simple car accident, if he did die, if he's still out there, and if he is still out there, why didn't he take me with him? I have so many questions.

Master Mark is running out of time that I will give him. I came to Salem because I heard a rumor about his presence, leaving everything behind in Los Angeles. I upended my entire life just for a rumor. But now his time is running out. I told Mortdecai tonight that I want Master Mark to be the one to take off my collar, should that come to it, but I have hands too. If this goes on too long..... I'll have to face the facts.

My Beloved

Spoilers for background. Read at own risk.

Introductions: My life up to my Embrace

My therapist - well, the website I consulted when dealing about grief - suggested that I start a blog to get my feelings off my chest. First, a little bit about myself. I am Sun-Hee Tan, an American citizen of Korean descent. My mother, Sung Tan, was a camp maid during the Korean war and was assaulted by a North Korean soldier. Nine months later, I came along. During those nine months, my mother fell in love with the man who became my dad, Sargent Richard Johnson of the American Army. Dad worked in the motor pool at the US Army base in Seoul. Eomma - that's Korean, by the way, for 'mom' - and Dad eventually married and moved back to the States, raising my excellent self.

Sun-Hee at age three

I was homeschooled because Dad's job in the Army meant that we moved around a lot. I didn't have a lot of friends when I was younger, and my Eomma tried very hard to be the perfect American housewife. She still taught me about our heritage though, and I learned Korean and Chinese as well as learning English as a child. Dad was kind of disappointed when I was born a girl and he learned that Eomma couldn't have any more children. He wanted a boy to pass on the military legacy. Dad wanted to teach me everything that a boy child would know. While I wasn't that strong, I learned how to fight and defend myself, how to use a firearm, and how to fight both hand-to-hand politely and impolitely. I also learned how to drive and maintain a car like any proper motor pool member would. I became sort of the unofficial mascot of whatever unit my dad was a part of.

I got into sculpting at age fourteen when Eomma thought that I needed more cultural education. I fell in love with creating something from a block of nothing-shaped clay. Giving life to a hunk of nothingness became my favorite past-time and when my Dad was promoted to Master Sargent and put in charge of the motor pool at an Army base near Los Angeles, I ran away from home and joined a commune of artists. At sixteen I spent all of my time sculpting and having gallery shows, hanging out with other commune members, and exploring myself. I kept in vague touch with Eomma and Dad, but eventually I fell out of contact with them.

Antoinette Bellarose

One night when I was nineteen, I met a beautiful woman at a gallery show. The theme that show had been 'Futility of Life,' and the blond-haired woman was interested in commissioning a piece. I let her up into my private gallery to let her look at the pieces I had there. The next thing I knew, I was waking up on the floor of my gallery and the woman I now know to be Antoinette Bellarose standing over me, licking bloody lips.

I was Embraced at age 19. I became a vampire, Childe of Antoinette Bellarose, and a creature of the night. I spent the next ten years learning how to be a vampire, how to hunt, learning about the Masquerade, and how to behave as a vampire.

Sun-Hee Tan, Present Day

I shall leave you there for now, dear reader. I'm sure you're tired of hearing my life story for one session. Things get more interesting in the next twenty years.....
Sun-Hee